I've been having 'one of those nights' tonight. You know the kind, where it seems like every little thing that can possibly go wrong, goes wrong. Yet nothing major goes wrong....you're still alive, your family's fine, your house isn't burning to the ground, you have food and warmth, etc, etc. It's these nights where I struggle. I *want* to...to not necessarily complain, but to get my feelings out. But yet, I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I've been blessed with so, so much, and it's wrong to complain about little things. I feel like I shouldn't burden other people with my trivial little problems, and yet, I want someone to listen, and to care. And I know nobody can listen if I don't talk.
It's kind of like, I heard somewhere that as a Christian...we should just kind of grin and bear it, and it's selfish and petty to indulge in our own feelings...that just since we're having a rough go of the day, is absolutely no reason to 'bring others down'. That we should just be happy, smiley people all the time.
And yet, it's important to be your true self, I feel like. Like you shouldn't just hide behind smiles when your heart is hurting, even if it's for a silly reason. Life isn't all sunshine and roses, even as a Christian.
And then I wonder about my motivations for complaining, or what have you. Am I telling people I had a bad night, since I need to get it out, or since I'm looking for attention and pity?
I don't know. It's just sooo confusing sometimes, and I don't think this post is making a lick of sense. It made more sense in my head, I promise. :)
Basically, it all comes down to this: when do you share your burdens with others, and when do you hold it in? is it ever right to smile and pretend you don't hurt? is it ever right to not? where do you draw the line? am I being silly for making a deal out of this? (well, I know the answer to that one anyways.)
If anyone has opinions or thoughts, or anything at all to share, I would love it if you did. :) (you don't even need an opinion or an answer. even if you just want to say, "I feel that way too sometimes" or "you're an idiot" please do, I want your honest to goodness thoughts.) :)
